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Last week was harsh to me. I mean from an outside perspective it was a week like any other, but for those close to me they knew it was tough. Last Tuesday night I stood over the NICU bed of a two month old little boy who was brain dead. His precious, but lifeless, body lay still as machines kept him alive in the earthly sense. I watched as his mom and dad laid close to him, touched him, spoke to him, and held on to him.

Wednesday morning I woke up to the bitter cold of the 17 degree wind and freeze of the night before. It was time to break out the winter coat, scarf, and gloves. Today was going to be another heavy day. I bundled up and headed to the funeral home to meet with another family who had lost their 78 year old grandfather, dad, husband, friend, and coworker. The family had chosen to do a graveside ceremony, but the kids wanted to have one last moment with their beloved before we made our way outside. They cried, shared stories, commented on how good he looked, and then we prayed. Outside we shivered through a celebration of this mans life and impact on those around him. When it was done we scurried to our cars for warmth.

That afternoon I found myself back in the NICU with baby Isaiah. This time it was just me and him. I laid in the same place that his mom and dad had laid the night before. I curled up next to him for just a moment and began to pray and speak to him. I would like to think he heard me, but I am certain he did not. I prayed more for his family and tried to tell him that they would make it through this tough moment of life. After a few moments I found the family in their suite at the hospital and loved on them one more time.

Friday night as I laid down on my couch full of emotional and physical exhaustion that comes with a week like this one, as I was about to be unconscious for the next few hours, my phone buzzed and on the little 3.5 LCD screen it said: “Baby Isaiah went to be with Jesus a few moments ago.” My heart sank at what my mind already knew. Not long after I got a call asking if I would be willing to do the funeral the following week.

Side note here: Baby Isaiah was going to be an organ donor and as a result he was going to save 14 other lives.

There are so many biblical parallels here I don’t even know where to begin

1. This baby was much like Christ in the sense that he would give life for others to have life.

2. His name is Isaiah. Much like the prophet of the Old Testament, his little life screamed, “Here I am God send me.

The little life brought redemption to others. Not just 14 other little lives, but to a family, friends, and even distant connections to the story.

Tuesday morning I woke up knowing that today was going to be a long day. I was praying more than ever that I would wake up and this would all be a horrible dream and that there would be no pain or hurt today. Alas, I woke and not much had changed. Text messages were flooding in from the family with details of where we would be meeting to do this funeral. I made my way through a meeting or two early and then I found myself at home in the quiet of my living room changing into my funeral attire. The quiet was very surreal for me in this moment. I longed to hear my girls screaming and playing, but they were at school and the silence was deafening. I got into the car and did not turn on the radio, did not grab my phone, did not utter a noise. Over and over in my head I tried to make more sense out of a seemingly senseless tragedy.

The funeral home was nice. It felt and smelled more like my grandmas living room than it did a place of death and mourning. I walked in and the family was there looking at their little boy. He looked beautiful in his little casket. He did not look lifeless, he looked…well…asleep. I was blown away by how good he looked. So much so that I made sure to tell the lady who had prepared him how good he looked. I loved on the family, shed tears with them, and even laughed with them. When there was a lull in the conversation baby Isaiah’s dad asked to talk with me in private. Immediately knots stirred up in my stomach. You see, normally when people want to talk with me in private it usually means they are upset about something. I braced myself for the upcoming conversation.

Have you ever had a moment when you were completely blindsided by God? Well…this was that kind of moment for me. We made our way to the private little room that the funeral home let me use to prepare and keep my belongings. We sat at a little glass table with floral patterned chairs. I looked at this dad who was about to bury his 2 month old son and asked, “What’s up man?” He looked at me and began to speak. His voice was quivering and his eyes were full of tears that were ready to sprint down his face at any moment. Then his words rocked my world. He said, “I have never encountered a church with people like you guys before. I have been rebellious my whole life. I have been messed up with drugs. I have not lived a very good life. But, I have realized that through this whole ordeal with my son that I can no longer run from my call. I am called to share the love of God with students. I am called to help them not go through what I have gone through. I need to give my life to Christ and was wondering if you could help me understand what that means?”

After I picked my jaw up off of the floor I looked into this dad’s eyes and said, “ABSOLUTELY!!!” We prayed right there and began talking about what this journey might look like. He finally looked at me and said, “Even if my little boy had not saved 14 other lives with his, he has saved mine and that is worth all of this.” I could not believe that this was happening. God used the death of his 2 month old son to bring him redemption, hope, love, and LIFE!!!

The ceremony ended, the graveside was over and I walked over to hug the family for the last time that day. As I grabbed a hold of the dad he held on tighter than I ever imagined. He whispered “Thank You” in my ear and then said, “This is not the end, this is only the beginning.” What he was really saying was this:

This is not the end of my sons life,

This is the beginning of my life in Christ.

This is not the end of a horrible day,

this is the beginning of life lived anew.

This is not the end of our friendship,

this is the beginning of life long relationship.

This is not the end of life as I know it,

this is the beginning of eternity…